she said i had a busy mind

i sort of love and hate having pains in my body. i guess i just feel like it brings attention to something you wouldn't necessarily be paying attention to. something that is inside of your body doing it's little job all the time that you never even think about paying attention to until it starts hurting. but it's always there. somehow it feels good to me to be aware, for a short time, of it's active existence. its also a really nice thing when it stops hurting and you had forgotten that it was hurting because it feels normal for it to not be hurting and then all of a sudden you think, "when did that stop?" sort of like when you're thinking about something all the time and you don't really notice when you're not thinking about it because when you're not, you're not instead thinking "i'm not thinking about this". because if you were thinking that then you are.