Tuesday, October 30, 2007

piece by piece

about a month ago i made myself go to imaging to scan some old work that was too big for normal scanners and ended up still having to scan my kite in 6 pieces. i decided yesterday that i should finally tile the stupid thing.

this is how far i got because i realized that i don't have the file for the bottom piece. so annoying. especially considering i don't even really like it anymore.

today i got paid to organize little royal icing flowers (by color) and construct gingerbread houses. tomorrow i'm getting paid to ice cupcakes and carve a pumpkin. who knew? i'm finally starting to feel creative again, and i've been staying up really late these days. by 'these days' i mean the past three. i had always said in school that i have trouble getting work done when the sun is up. i hope that's not still the way i function because going to bed at eleven pretty much rules.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

she said i had a busy mind

i sort of love and hate having pains in my body. i guess i just feel like it brings attention to something you wouldn't necessarily be paying attention to. something that is inside of your body doing it's little job all the time that you never even think about paying attention to until it starts hurting. but it's always there. somehow it feels good to me to be aware, for a short time, of it's active existence. its also a really nice thing when it stops hurting and you had forgotten that it was hurting because it feels normal for it to not be hurting and then all of a sudden you think, "when did that stop?" sort of like when you're thinking about something all the time and you don't really notice when you're not thinking about it because when you're not, you're not instead thinking "i'm not thinking about this". because if you were thinking that then you are.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

i told my mom that my new life goal is that, one day, i'd like to be able to afford a cleaning lady.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

three hours is a lot of hours at 11pm

are you a tourist if you've already lived somewhere and you're going back to visit but don't have any of the real life 'home' stuff to do? still feeling daring enough to inspect people's faces on the bus seems outsider-like until you recognize one of them and then it doesn't. it's funny and fun to feel like a visitor but to not need directions. it's also nice to feel comfortable.
i'm in my old room in seattle and it still smells the same. i didn't even know it had a specific scent until it instantly turned into memory. it's so stupid and sad how easy it is to be stupid and sad. its nice to create new positive experiences and feelings to attach to a place that deserves it. this city feels good on me.

its strange when you realize your feelings about something or someone have become disconnected from thing itself. but i still sleep with my phone by my head.