when things are going really terribly its so easy to find yourself feeling like nothing's going to ever be right even though you know very well that that's not at all true. my mom always says that the world has a way of taking care of us. i know she's right but things falling apart and feeling awful always make everything fall apart more because of how awful you feel. and its so hard to see what you're letting yourself do because somehow feelings always get in the way of ever being able to be rational. and you don't know that you're actually driving yourself out of your mind until someone comes and says, "hey, you're driving yourself out of your mind," and then you know and can stop.
replace "you" with "i".
the past few days have been infinitely better and right now i'm sitting in my room with my new bike helmet next to me and my new apartment's keys hanging on a rubber key chain the shape of a sneaker and i'm realizing that this is it: my big fat "i told you so" from the universe, and from my mom.