new york new york

sometimes i wonder if i the only time i can be by myself without feeling lonely is when i'm living somewhere where i don't know anyone. even today, while taking a two hour walk to a store that ended up being closed, i was on the phone or accompanied by cat power. while wandering around i bought some dried fruit from a silver-haired man in a middle eastern shop that was pilled with boxes of pistachio and honey sweets, cans of tuna, and huge class jars full of gluten-free snacks. my new goal is to find solace in new york while i can still call it home. i need to feel like my reasons for wanting so badly to leave are there regardless of the fact that this city is really quite spectacular. on my walk home i really wanted tea and started to keep my eyes out for a coffee shop when i saw a bodega and decided to get it from there instead. while craving tea in hoboken when i was there the other week, and having a hard time finding a place to get it, i was realizing that its actually not the most normal thing to be able to get a hot cup of tea or coffee from the same place that you can get your beer (or ginger ale) and $3 cheese sandwich. it's really a beautiful thing. i got a large.